I wasn't on the phone when my husband called his family, as I decided to have a nap after returning home that afternoon; but from what I could gather the idea of a home birth was not something they were thrilled about. My in laws have always been (and still are) firm believers in doctors and only doing what the doctor tells you. You could tell that they were very nervous about our decision; however, they never verbally said that they were not in support of our decision but still you could sure hear the apprehension in their voice when ever we talked to them.
We continued on with our appointments with Pam each time learning more and more and add that on to all we were learning at Bradley Class, you'd think we had become Pros and we still had not given birth yet.
The days went by and another appointment was coming due. Mark was unable to get the day off from work and so I went out on a limb and asked my parents to take the drive with me. I thought it would be a perfect chance for them to ask their questions and hopefully have some peace about what was about to happen.
We arrived at the appointment and were greeted with a hug from both Karen and Pam (that's just the kind of wonderful people they are.) I headed to the bathroom to do my urine test and to weigh myself; when I returned the parents were in the midst of asking their questions. I looked at my Dad's face and noticed that the look of uneasiness that seemed to follow him whenever we talked about our upcoming Home Birth was slowly fading away. On the trip back home they both sat in the car and finally my dad said what I was hoping would be said "I have learned more in one afternoon about pregnancy then I have in my entire life." followed quickly with my Mom saying "and I have given birth to two kids, I never knew some of this stuff. In fact some of my lingering questions that I have always wondered about have finally been answered."
So the goal of wining them to my side... I can officially say has been achieved. I think Hannah would have been pleased.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
"Natural Childbirth... Love the Stuff" Part 8
On our trip back home we talked about the day. For months we had been seeing doctors, always walking away feeling as if we were lost and unknowing of what was taking place with our pregnancy, but in one morning with Pam we felt as if we were finally in the know. We were finally confident enough to make the big announcement... Telling the parents that we were going to have an unmediated home birth.
They had already known we were taking part in the Bradley classes but they figured it was because we wanted to be more informed about our pregnancy, that we were not thrilled about the Lamaze classes being offered for one day at the local hospital. But truthfully, we think they never saw this coming.
That Sunday we took my parents out for lunch at Oysters; a local Mexican restaurant. We began telling them how our classes were going and how excited we were to be learning so much. Truthfully, I believe that even my mom was amazed at what was happening with a pregnant woman, and she even gave birth to two children. Then finally I just said it "we have decided on a home birth." My mom's face went from a normal color full of life to a death white and my dad just sat blinking trying to process what he had just heard. I let it process for a few moments and then proceeded to tell them of what we had discovered. I also reminded them that home births have been happening since the beginning of time, and that we had every confidence in not only ourselves but also in our midwives. My mom decided to speak up asking Mark "are you sure you can do this? your not very good with high stress situations." Mark replied "Yes, I am confident that we can do this. We are learning everything there is to know about this and we have hired the best midwives there are. This is something that we have prayed about for a long while and believe we have made the best decision for not only us but for our son." I sat there looking at my husband and fell in love with him all over again, he was so confident in his words, and spoke with such conviction I was so proud of him.
We finished our lunch while answering all the questions they could come up with, when we parted ways that afternoon we could tell that they were not completely sold on the idea of a home birth but had resolved to allow us to do what we felt was best. Noticing their apprehension I made it my goal to win them over to our side.
We then went home to make the call to my husbands family, who lived in Illinois.
They had already known we were taking part in the Bradley classes but they figured it was because we wanted to be more informed about our pregnancy, that we were not thrilled about the Lamaze classes being offered for one day at the local hospital. But truthfully, we think they never saw this coming.
That Sunday we took my parents out for lunch at Oysters; a local Mexican restaurant. We began telling them how our classes were going and how excited we were to be learning so much. Truthfully, I believe that even my mom was amazed at what was happening with a pregnant woman, and she even gave birth to two children. Then finally I just said it "we have decided on a home birth." My mom's face went from a normal color full of life to a death white and my dad just sat blinking trying to process what he had just heard. I let it process for a few moments and then proceeded to tell them of what we had discovered. I also reminded them that home births have been happening since the beginning of time, and that we had every confidence in not only ourselves but also in our midwives. My mom decided to speak up asking Mark "are you sure you can do this? your not very good with high stress situations." Mark replied "Yes, I am confident that we can do this. We are learning everything there is to know about this and we have hired the best midwives there are. This is something that we have prayed about for a long while and believe we have made the best decision for not only us but for our son." I sat there looking at my husband and fell in love with him all over again, he was so confident in his words, and spoke with such conviction I was so proud of him.
We finished our lunch while answering all the questions they could come up with, when we parted ways that afternoon we could tell that they were not completely sold on the idea of a home birth but had resolved to allow us to do what we felt was best. Noticing their apprehension I made it my goal to win them over to our side.
We then went home to make the call to my husbands family, who lived in Illinois.
Friday, May 7, 2010
"Natural Childbirth... Love the Stuff" Part 7
The answer to that question is of course.... NO!
But anyway back to where I left off.
Later that afternoon, we sat at our kitchen table and called Pam for our scheduled interview. We ran her through the grind with questions about her beliefs and about home birthing itself. She answered every question showing no sign of annoyance as I will have to admit we were a little (for lack of a better word at this moment) annal. The most important question was are you a Christian? to which she answered yes. To us it was a big deal to have a Christian midwife as we did not want to have a "new age" midwife (something that seems to be associated with allot of midwifes, however, once you do your research you find that is not always the case.)
We then proceeded to tell her of the days events at the doctors office. She too was confused, in her line of work she had never had someone have their blood type change on her, so she decided to order another blood test. I went down the following day to the nearest Lab Corp and did as was ordered. The next day we received a phone call from Pam "the test results are in, your blood type is O negative. You really need to come to my office at once as we need to administer the RhoGAM shot." We made an appointment and then proceeded to inform our employers that we had to take the day off as we had an emergency appointment with our midwife in Phoenix the following morning... thank GOD for wonderful employers!
The next day we headed off to Phoenix (2 hour drive from our town) and finally met in person our midwife, Pam. She was everything I had pictured when talking with her, young but not too young, short (like me) and full of personality. We talked for what seemed like hours going over all the doctors reports (we had brought my entire medical record) and trying to make sense of what they were trying to say. Finally, she looked up at me and shook her head in disbelief. Understanding my wishes to not have vaginal checkups unless it was completely necessary (actually she too did not agree with every appointment having to have a vaginal checkup) she performed a regular check up. After the checkup she said "I know you are not looking forward to this shot however, it is best for the baby and for you." I knew this, however, knowing it was not the same as being OK with it. After my first experience with the shot, I was not looking forward to having to get another one (and possibly another one if the baby had positive blood type.) She gave me a few minutes and allowed me to prepare for the shot, then gently using the love of a mother administered the shot. It was not as painful as the first, however, it still was very traumatic for me, she understood that and after the shot was done waited for me to turn around and she then swooped me into her arms giving me a hug that seemed to make all the trauma melt away. And for the first time since we found out we were pregnant, I finally felt...pregnant.
But anyway back to where I left off.
Later that afternoon, we sat at our kitchen table and called Pam for our scheduled interview. We ran her through the grind with questions about her beliefs and about home birthing itself. She answered every question showing no sign of annoyance as I will have to admit we were a little (for lack of a better word at this moment) annal. The most important question was are you a Christian? to which she answered yes. To us it was a big deal to have a Christian midwife as we did not want to have a "new age" midwife (something that seems to be associated with allot of midwifes, however, once you do your research you find that is not always the case.)
We then proceeded to tell her of the days events at the doctors office. She too was confused, in her line of work she had never had someone have their blood type change on her, so she decided to order another blood test. I went down the following day to the nearest Lab Corp and did as was ordered. The next day we received a phone call from Pam "the test results are in, your blood type is O negative. You really need to come to my office at once as we need to administer the RhoGAM shot." We made an appointment and then proceeded to inform our employers that we had to take the day off as we had an emergency appointment with our midwife in Phoenix the following morning... thank GOD for wonderful employers!
The next day we headed off to Phoenix (2 hour drive from our town) and finally met in person our midwife, Pam. She was everything I had pictured when talking with her, young but not too young, short (like me) and full of personality. We talked for what seemed like hours going over all the doctors reports (we had brought my entire medical record) and trying to make sense of what they were trying to say. Finally, she looked up at me and shook her head in disbelief. Understanding my wishes to not have vaginal checkups unless it was completely necessary (actually she too did not agree with every appointment having to have a vaginal checkup) she performed a regular check up. After the checkup she said "I know you are not looking forward to this shot however, it is best for the baby and for you." I knew this, however, knowing it was not the same as being OK with it. After my first experience with the shot, I was not looking forward to having to get another one (and possibly another one if the baby had positive blood type.) She gave me a few minutes and allowed me to prepare for the shot, then gently using the love of a mother administered the shot. It was not as painful as the first, however, it still was very traumatic for me, she understood that and after the shot was done waited for me to turn around and she then swooped me into her arms giving me a hug that seemed to make all the trauma melt away. And for the first time since we found out we were pregnant, I finally felt...pregnant.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
"Natural Childbirth... Love the Stuff" Part 6
All I could do for the first few minutes was stumble around trying to find the words to say... the right questions to ask. Pam quickly set my mind at ease and made me feel as if we were best friends. I explained to her my story (up until that point) and waited for her reaction of "oh, sorry dear, I don't travel" but to my surprise it never came in fact I got the "I'm the second midwife for another couple in your town ... you might know them the M family". I was floored.. (the M family was the second couple in my Bradley Class I told you all about earlier in this blog.) After a few more words of encouragement she informed me that she would be happy to be our midwife as long as she could find a second midwife to assist.
A few minutes later she contacted me again and stated... "when would you like to meet?" I almost cried! I finally had a break through! I explained that I had an appointment with Dr. Nelson the following day to get the second of the RhoGAM shot (you need three during your pregnancy) so we made a phone interview appointment for after we returned home from the trip to Dr. Nelsons.
Early the next morning we made the trip to Dr. Nelsons, waiting in his office... finally being called to the front desk with the instructions to go have my blood drawn. From what we were told this was standard procedure as they want to make sure that I really do need the RhoGAM shot or if it was a little too soon for it. So off we went. Blood drawn and hours after hours we waited then finally the nursed called me to her office. "Belienda, you don't need the shot, you never needed it as your blood type is O positive."
We left the doctors office feeling confused... can a persons blood type change???
A few minutes later she contacted me again and stated... "when would you like to meet?" I almost cried! I finally had a break through! I explained that I had an appointment with Dr. Nelson the following day to get the second of the RhoGAM shot (you need three during your pregnancy) so we made a phone interview appointment for after we returned home from the trip to Dr. Nelsons.
Early the next morning we made the trip to Dr. Nelsons, waiting in his office... finally being called to the front desk with the instructions to go have my blood drawn. From what we were told this was standard procedure as they want to make sure that I really do need the RhoGAM shot or if it was a little too soon for it. So off we went. Blood drawn and hours after hours we waited then finally the nursed called me to her office. "Belienda, you don't need the shot, you never needed it as your blood type is O positive."
We left the doctors office feeling confused... can a persons blood type change???
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