"Natural Childbirth... Love the Stuff" Part 11

"Honey, I think you should come home now"

"I don't get off for another hour, is everything okay?"

"Yes, everything is okay... except my water broke so I think you should come home now"

"I'm on my way"

While sitting on the throne I first called Pam and informed her that my water had broke and that she should be on her way (keep in mind that she lived in Phoenix and would have a bit of a drive to make it to Kingman). I then called Karen and they both loaded up their vehicles and headed our way.

After calling the midwives I called my parents to let them know that I was in labor and not to worry the midwives were on their way and Mark was due home any moment. I told them not to worry, and we would call as soon as he was born.  I then called my in laws and told them as well.

5:30PM - Mark arrived home, gave me a kiss and helped me figure out what it was my body wanted me to do. Evey time I stood up I felt like I had to go to the bathroom but every time I sat down nothing happened and I had the urge to stand and walk around. I remember him asking me if he should go ahead and set up the birthing tub but I told him it was not necessary just yet as you know a first pregnancy can take hours and I did not want the water to go cold.

6:10PM - I decided to try and rest, I felt very tired... after all I had just finished scrubbing (by hand) the carpets; thinking back on it I really should have just taken a long nap after church that day.  While laying on the bed my contractions started, strong but manageable. Mark did a wonderful job coaching me reminding me to breath (I wonder, who was helping Hannah remember to breath?).
While laying there trying to relax after having a contraction I looked at him and saw the struggle on his face to keep it all together, he was feeling so sick, if it was any other day I am sure he would have just crawled into bed and slept, but he put himself aside and stayed focused on me...

Phone rang - my parents wondering if Mark had made it home yet and

if the midwives were there yet.

6:15PM - Double contractions started and never stopped. Laying on the bed because trying to stand up only made me seem to have the contractions quicker than laying down. Mark needed to be getting the birthing tub ready but every time I told him it was okay to leave and set it up I turned around and yelled for him to help. At this point nothing he was doing or saying was helping, but somehow just having him in the room holding my hand was very comforting.

Phone rang - my parents wondering if the midwives were there yet.

9:30PM - Karen arrived. By this time the birthing tub was not ready and frankly is now completely out of the picture as I went from first stages to full blown active labor in a matter of moments. Karen walked in to our room to find me on all fours trying to bring relief to the pressure I was feeling on my lower back. She began getting to work... a warm wash cloth was placed on my lower back. Can we say "ahhhhh" wow was that wonderful, it was for a brief moment like calgon had really taken me away. I can actually still feel the relief that a simple warm wash cloth brought. I wonder... did Hannah have anyone doing that kind of thing for her when she was in labor?

Phone rang - my parents.

10:45PM - Pam arrived just in time for me to start pushing.

Phone rang - Parents again

Hannah was lucky... no phones

"Natural Childbirth... Love the Stuff" Part 10

We continued on with our Bradley Classes and the apointments with our Midwives for the next few months. Anticipating the day that our little one would arrive. During our times of rest Mark would talk to our little guy and let me just say that seeing the love of your life talk to your unborn child is just about the sexiest thing ever. I wonder if Hannah ever saw her hubby do this... I am sure it is one of the questions I will be able to ask her once I get to have tea with her in heaven.


Finally December came. And the apointments became a weekly thing, the morning of December 24th was a mile stone in our pregnancy, the mucus plug came out. For those who do not know what the musus plug is, it's just that... a whole lot of "mucus" being discharged from the down under parts of a womans body. Once we discovered what it was (and we knew because we learned about this in our Bradley Class.. see we are very knowledgeable in this) we called our midwife, Pam. She informed us that the time was comming very soon, but that it could be any where from 1 hour to 7 days (again we knew this already because of Bradley). Suprisingly we were calm and relaxed and waited patiently for the day to arrive.


Mark had to work that day so I enjoyed the afternoon with my family as the Eads family always has a Christmas Eve get together complete with Oyster stew and cold cuts (for those who can't stand Oyster Stew). I noticed that I was very tired and was not really able to move around so much as I just could not get up the energy. Thankfully my parents helped get me some food and water when I requested it (they are just the best). After the days activities I went home and slept. It was probably the best nights sleep I had had in months.


December 29th, Mark woke up with a sever sinus infection but decided to still go to what ended up as our last midwife apointment. We traveled to Prescott to visit Karen. When we arrived Mark was feeling worse than he did when he first woke up so we decided that after the appointment we would try to see a doctor for some meds. We did our exam and was told that it would be any day now as he was in position, we just needed to wait on God to decide the time. We thanked Karen and asked for directions to the nearest urgent care facility as it was a Saturday and doctors offices were not in the practice of being open on the weekends (its there way of getting the big bucks IMHO). We spent the rest of the day waiting (we finally saw the doctor at 6:30 in the evening... we arrived there at 10:30 am). The doctor perscribed an antibiotic and sent us on our way. We arrived home very late but somehow I felt rested.

December 30th, Sunday marked one of the best days of our lives. Mark had to go to work that morning, still feeling very sick but could not afford to not go to work as he was just 1 day away from his week long vacation. I woke up that morning and headed off to church. After the services I had lunch with my good friend Teressa, her son Danny and the boyfriend at the time (the name escapes me, but he ended up being married to someone who lived in California). During our lunch I had mentioned that we needed to get the nursery painted and we were hoping to do that tomorrow. They offered to come by and help, which I accepted as painting was not something I wanted to be doing (nor should I have been doing) at this stage of the game. We finished our lunch and parted ways.

Its amazing how while pregnant you get these sudden urges to clean. Today my urge was to tackle the carpets and besides I had to go to the store to get Marks perscription filled. So once I returned home away I went using Hydrogen Peroxide a scrub brush and my Spot Shot steam cleaner. Feeling very ackomplished after working out the last of the spots at 5:05 PM. I sat there admiring my work then I decided I needed to get up and start some dinner for Mark and I. Standing up must have done the trick as the moment I did my water broke. At first I thought it was that I had an accident and headed to the bathroom to finish my business. However once I sat down nothing happened, it was only when I stood up that the water begin to flow.

I was extremely calm as I headed for my phone to start the calls. I wonder who Hannah first contacted when her water broke?

"Natural Childbirth... Love the Stuff" Part 9

I wasn't on the phone when my husband called his family, as I decided to have a nap after returning home that afternoon; but from what I could gather the idea of a home birth was not something they were thrilled about. My in laws have always been (and still are) firm believers in doctors and only doing what the doctor tells you. You could tell that they were very nervous about our decision; however, they never verbally said that they were not in support of our decision but still you could sure hear the apprehension in their voice when ever we talked to them.


We continued on with our appointments with Pam each time learning more and more and add that on to all we were learning at Bradley Class, you'd think we had become Pros and we still had not given birth yet.



The days went by and another appointment was coming due. Mark was unable to get the day off from work and so I went out on a limb and asked my parents to take the drive with me. I thought it would be a perfect chance for them to ask their questions and hopefully have some peace about what was about to happen.



We arrived at the appointment and were greeted with a hug from both Karen and Pam (that's just the kind of wonderful people they are.) I headed to the bathroom to do my urine test and to weigh myself; when I returned the parents were in the midst of asking their questions. I looked at my Dad's face and noticed that the look of uneasiness that seemed to follow him whenever we talked about our upcoming Home Birth was slowly fading away. On the trip back home they both sat in the car and finally my dad said what I was hoping would be said "I have learned more in one afternoon about pregnancy then I have in my entire life." followed quickly with my Mom saying "and I have given birth to two kids, I never knew some of this stuff. In fact some of my lingering questions that I have always wondered about have finally been answered."



So the goal of wining them to my side... I can officially say has been achieved. I think Hannah would have been pleased.

"Natural Childbirth... Love the Stuff" Part 8

On our trip back home we talked about the day. For months we had been seeing doctors, always walking away feeling as if we were lost and unknowing of what was taking place with our pregnancy, but in one morning with Pam we felt as if we were finally in the know. We were finally confident enough to make the big announcement... Telling the parents that we were going to have an unmediated home birth.

They had already known we were taking part in the Bradley classes but they figured it was because we wanted to be more informed about our pregnancy, that we were not thrilled about the Lamaze classes being offered for one day at the local hospital. But truthfully, we think they never saw this coming.

That Sunday we took my parents out for lunch at Oysters; a local Mexican restaurant. We began telling them how our classes were going and how excited we were to be learning so much. Truthfully, I believe that even my mom was amazed at what was happening with a pregnant woman, and she even gave birth to two children. Then finally I just said it "we have decided on a home birth." My mom's face went from a normal color full of life to a death white and my dad just sat blinking trying to process what he had just heard. I let it process for a few moments and then proceeded to tell them of what we had discovered. I also reminded them that home births have been happening since the beginning of time, and that we had every confidence in not only ourselves but also in our midwives. My mom decided to speak up asking Mark "are you sure you can do this? your not very good with high stress situations." Mark replied "Yes, I am confident that we can do this. We are learning everything there is to know about this and we have hired the best midwives there are. This is something that we have prayed about for a long while and believe we have made the best decision for not only us but for our son." I sat there looking at my husband and fell in love with him all over again, he was so confident in his words, and spoke with such conviction I was so proud of him.

We finished our lunch while answering all the questions they could come up with, when we parted ways that afternoon we could tell that they were not completely sold on the idea of a home birth but had resolved to allow us to do what we felt was best. Noticing their apprehension I made it my goal to win them over to our side.

We then went home to make the call to my husbands family, who lived in Illinois.

"Natural Childbirth... Love the Stuff" Part 7

The answer to that question is of course.... NO!

But anyway back to where I left off.

Later that afternoon, we sat at our kitchen table and called Pam for our scheduled interview. We ran her through the grind with questions about her beliefs and about home birthing itself. She answered every question showing no sign of annoyance as I will have to admit we were a little (for lack of a better word at this moment) annal. The most important question was are you a Christian? to which she answered yes. To us it was a big deal to have a Christian midwife as we did not want to have a "new age" midwife (something that seems to be associated with allot of midwifes, however, once you do your research you find that is not always the case.)

We then proceeded to tell her of the days events at the doctors office. She too was confused, in her line of work she had never had someone have their blood type change on her, so she decided to order another blood test. I went down the following day to the nearest Lab Corp and did as was ordered. The next day we received a phone call from Pam "the test results are in, your blood type is O negative. You really need to come to my office at once as we need to administer the RhoGAM shot." We made an appointment and then proceeded to inform our employers that we had to take the day off as we had an emergency appointment with our midwife in Phoenix the following morning... thank GOD for wonderful employers!

The next day we headed off to Phoenix (2 hour drive from our town) and finally met in person our midwife, Pam. She was everything I had pictured when talking with her, young but not too young, short (like me) and full of personality. We talked for what seemed like hours going over all the doctors reports (we had brought my entire medical record) and trying to make sense of what they were trying to say. Finally, she looked up at me and shook her head in disbelief. Understanding my wishes to not have vaginal checkups unless it was completely necessary (actually she too did not agree with every appointment having to have a vaginal checkup) she performed a regular check up. After the checkup she said "I know you are not looking forward to this shot however, it is best for the baby and for you." I knew this, however, knowing it was not the same as being OK with it. After my first experience with the shot, I was not looking forward to having to get another one (and possibly another one if the baby had positive blood type.) She gave me a few minutes and allowed me to prepare for the shot, then gently using the love of a mother administered the shot. It was not as painful as the first, however, it still was very traumatic for me, she understood that and after the shot was done waited for me to turn around and she then swooped me into her arms giving me a hug that seemed to make all the trauma melt away. And for the first time since we found out we were pregnant, I finally felt...pregnant.

"Natural Childbirth... Love the Stuff" Part 6

All I could do for the first few minutes was stumble around trying to find the words to say... the right questions to ask. Pam quickly set my mind at ease and made me feel as if we were best friends. I explained to her my story (up until that point) and waited for her reaction of "oh, sorry dear, I don't travel" but to my surprise it never came in fact I got the "I'm the second midwife for another couple in your town ... you might know them the M family". I was floored.. (the M family was the second couple in my Bradley Class I told you all about earlier in this blog.) After a few more words of encouragement she informed me that she would be happy to be our midwife as long as she could find a second midwife to assist.



A few minutes later she contacted me again and stated... "when would you like to meet?" I almost cried! I finally had a break through! I explained that I had an appointment with Dr. Nelson the following day to get the second of the RhoGAM shot (you need three during your pregnancy) so we made a phone interview appointment for after we returned home from the trip to Dr. Nelsons.



Early the next morning we made the trip to Dr. Nelsons, waiting in his office... finally being called to the front desk with the instructions to go have my blood drawn. From what we were told this was standard procedure as they want to make sure that I really do need the RhoGAM shot or if it was a little too soon for it. So off we went. Blood drawn and hours after hours we waited then finally the nursed called me to her office. "Belienda, you don't need the shot, you never needed it as your blood type is O positive."

We left the doctors office feeling confused... can a persons blood type change???

"Natural Childbirth... Love the Stuff" Part 4

Day 5

A few weeks later we began the series of Bradley Classes. Robin and Bill were such great instructors, of course it did help that they too were Christians (which was for us a very big deal). Our class was filled with three couples (we were one of the couples), the other two were also Christians. The first couple was pregnant with their first child, they were such a joy to get to know, the second was pregnant with their second child (also a childhood friend of mine).

When the class began Robin and Bill asked the second couple to share their birth story (for their first child); I was intrigued by the words Home Birth. Truthfully, I had never even heard of one before; although if I really sit back and think about it didn't Hannah have one and the others before her? anyway... (You would have thought that with my research of Bradley classes, something would have stuck in my mind about Home Birthing... so I will just blame the pregnancy... it took some brain cells).

That night while driving home from the class we discussed this Home Birth option. At first we were completely for a Hospital birth, after all we had already gone through enough so why take the chance for a home birth? But after more and more research about home birthing and hearing actual people we knew and trusted talk about the experience we knew we had to take the plunge.

Thus, began our search for a Mid Wife. Living in a very small town, the search for a Mid Wife who was willing to travel to our town was like finding a needle in a hay stack. I literally called about 50 Mid Wives, one of which told me that she did not suggest a Mid Wife as they never make it to the births in time and usually find the mother and child in a pool of blood or dead. I thanked her for her time and went about my search. Of course I could have used the Mid Wife that the second couple was using but we were told that she was not taking any new clients at that time. Then just before I picked up the phone to dial #51 it rang... on the other end was an Angle! Her name... Pam Qualls.

Tomorrows Post "Natural Childbirth... Love the Stuff" Part 5